I Think I Found Meself a Job!

So I took a quiz online.

And now I'm almost frightened by the results.

But they were too good not to share.

In fact, if I were single I might be sharing a bit more than just the results of the quiz... if you know what I mean.

Kidding!

(sort of)




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True

Found this on one of the websites I frequent, although I have seen it a few times before. Thought it was hilarious, a counter-balance to the cold and dreary day outside.

I also thought most, not all, was brilliantly true.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
13. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

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Late

In no particular order...

1. I am thankful for Barry, who accepts me for who I am.
2. I am thankful for having the greatest Mom a girl could ever wish for.
3. I am thankful for having the most loving Dad a girl could ever wish for.
4. I am thankful for Lance, the best dog I’ll ever be owned by.
5. I am thankful for Pudge, the best cat a cat-hater could be owned by.
6. I am thankful for Gana, who is the yin to Pudge’s yang – a cat through and through.
7. I am thankful for Tom, who accepts our friendship for what it is – twisted and unconventional.
8. I am thankful for my Aunt Fran who, after my mother, has shown me what grace personified truly is.
9. I am thankful for my cousin Katie, who, when faced with adversity, lives life on her own terms.
10. I am thankful for my cousin Sarah, who knows what she wants and never waivers.
11. I am thankful for my ‘Aunt’ Ann and ‘Uncle’ John, who make me feel like the daughter they never had.
12. I am thankful for my friends Linda and Greg, who make it all seem easy.
13. I am thankful for my friend Maggie, who has shown me that the power of perverted prayer and sheer stubbornness can take you farther than you knew you could go.
14. I am thankful that my parent’s left me a house that is paid for.
15. I am thankful for B’lana, the pretty, pretty princess that she is.
16. I am thankful that I can look out my back window and see a creek rather than a neighbor’s backyard.
17. I am thankful for my friend Jason, who not only is the original ‘pretty,’ but also has a heart as big as the whole outdoors.
18. I am thankful for my friend Jennifer, who is a hot mess – and loves me because I am, too.
19. I am thankful for Alyssa, who reminds me of what I lost and makes my heart sing.
20. I am thankful for Aidan, who despite obstacles, embraces life more fully than anyone I know.
21. I am thankful for Cara, who has been in my life so long that I can’t remember her not being there… and thank God for that.
22. I am thankful for Todd, Elwood and Finn, who not only love Cara unconditionally, I love them for loving her.
23. I am thankful for my friend Kim, who reminds me that there is still hope and good in the world.
24. I am thankful for my friend Paul, whose political rants mirror my own leanings – and who is a true gentleman, underneath the trappings of… one who is not.
25. I am thankful for my friend Katie, who is effervescence personified.
26. I am thankful for Sharon, who never tries to be the mother I lost, but seems to love me as much as her own offspring.
27. I am thankful for Alan, who, while complete different than my father, reminds me of him when he dishes out and takes it.
28. I am thankful for Deb, my BFFAW always.
29. I am thankful for my friend Barb, who I never talk to enough.
30. I am thankful for Molly, who is wise beyond her years but also makes me feel 10 years younger.
31. I am thankful for my cousins Bill and George, who are always looking out for me.
32. I am thankful for Barry’s gaming group, who give him an oasis of (in)sanity.
33. I am thankful for my sister-in-law Jennifer, who is the little sister I never knew I wanted.
34. I am thankful for my brother-in-law Robert, who introduced us to the ways of Schwan’s.
35. I am thankful for Renee and John, who help keep us grounded.
36. I am thankful for snow.
37. I am thankful for The Custard Station.
38. I am thankful for thrift stores.
39. I am thankful for the Internet.
40. I am thankful for gift certificates.
41. I am thankful for Tom Waits.
42. I am thankful for Nine Inch Nails.
43. I am thankful for Billy Joel.
44. I am thankful for INXS.
45. I am thankful for the Preservation Hall Jazz Band.
46. I am thankful for Charleston, SC.
47. I am thankful for Facebook and it getting me in touch with old friends.
48. I am thankful for ‘Oops’ paint.
49. I am thankful for Satellite TV.
50. I am thankful for TiVo.
51. I am thankful for the oceans.
52. I am thankful for the mountains.
53. I am thankful for those who have saved historic buildings.
54. I am thankful for Bryan Fuller for creating the best television shows that never got a chance.
55. I am thankful for Forest Park.
56. I am thankful for the Arch, thus creating one of the most recognized and beautiful downtown skylines in the country.
57. I am thankful that Obama will be the 44th President of the United States of America.
58. I am thankful for the Lion’s Club BBQ.
59. I am thankful for Teva sandals.
60. I am thankful for tattoos and piercings.
61. I am thankful for Weekends Only furniture stores.
62. I am thankful for grape soda.
63. I am thankful for the City Museum.
64. I am thankful for root beer.
65. I am thankful for Oberweis.
66. I am thankful for knitting.
67. I am thankful for Petsmart, so I can take Lance there and let him have a little ‘Yappy Hour’ from time to time.
68. I am thankful for memories.
69. I am thankful for living in the greatest country in the world.
70. I am thankful for Route 44 Cherry/Vanilla Cokes from Sonic – and for my cousins introducing me to them.
71. I am thankful for the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series of books.
72. I am thankful for fanfiction.
73. I am thankful for The Royale.
74. I am thankful for Amigo’s Cantina.
75. I am thankful for Mental Floss.
76. I am thankful for St. Louis Magazine.
77. I am thankful for the book White Palace.
78. I am thankful for sales – of any kind.
79. I am thankful for zippered hoodies.
80. I am thankful for independent coffee houses like Kaldi’s.
81. I am thankful for Jon Stewart on the Daily Show.
82. I am thankful for Big Lots.
83. I am thankful for fabric remnants at fabric stores.
84. I am thankful for Phyllis Diller.
85. I am thankful for hammocks.
86. I am thankful for the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy.
87. I am thankful for Hellboy comics and movies.
88. I am thankful for the Indiana Jones trilogy (Not sure how I feel about the 4th movie yet).
89. I am thankful for the original Star Wars trilogy.
90. I am thankful for the movie, Heathers.
91. I am thankful for tiramisu.
92. I am thankful for crème brule.
93. I am thankful for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
94. I am thankful for Mutts comics.
95. I am thankful that I grew up when Bloom County was what the Daily Show is now – cutting edge political commentary.
96. I am thankful for chocolate milk.
97. I am thankful for Laumeier Sculpture Park.
98. I am thankful for Nordstrom’s in St. Louis.
99. I am thankful for the cheesecake selection at The Cheesecake Factory.
100. I am thankful for you.

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Neither Forgotten Nor Left Behind

I have been told recently, and by my husband no less, that I have been neglecting my blog. And he is so right. It's just been sheer laziness on my part... as well as lack of inspiration to write.

Now that the elections are over, it seems that the whole world is waiting with baited breath to see what Obama says in his Inaugural Address. I watch with rapt attention to his Cabinet choices on the news, but really -- it feels like the world breathed a sigh of relief, but is still stuck in a holding pattern.

My life right now is just not a huge source of inspiration for blog fodder... or the fiction writing I plug away at. I look for jobs, I sometimes interview, I hear great feedback from the interview... and only occasionally do I get an offer. Most of the time, insurance is not offered. And almost all of the time the pay stinks. But, stinky pay with benefits is better than what I'm pulling in right now -- diddly over squat.

The rest of my time is filled with awkward attempts at writing, some bursts of true inspiration in said writing, knitting, home "stuff" (meaning... cleaning, decorating, purging, etc.), and TV watching.

Exciting stuff, I know.

And it's not like I'm bitter or doing the self-pity thing -- it's just the way things are right now. I feel boring, and thus not inspired to post anything.

But maybe putting this post up will trigger more. Heck, at the very least, I should post pictures and jokes and antecedents of interest. Maybe a New Year's Resolution early?

Well, thank you, faithful reader, for putting up with my writing droughts. Can't promise there won't be more, but I have no abandoned my writing endeavors.

They're just few and far between. But not gone and forgotten.

Neither are you.

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The Day After

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

These words, written by Langston Hughes in 1951 and used by Lorraine Hansberry to title her 1959 play -- A Raisin in the Sun (which won the New York Dram Critics' Circle Award for best play of the year... and happened to be the first drama by a black woman to be produced on Broadway) -- seemed to reflect perfectly the American apathy for the political system as well as the plight of their fellow man.

For the past forty years, the electric moment of a leader capturing the collective imagination of the country... world... has floundered. After the deaths of Jack and Bobby Kennedy, Malcolm X, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who has managed to impassion the American public? Bill Clinton sparked some interest -- I count myself as one of his disciples -- but his private life too often outshone his public life.

But last night, the world changed. People across the world wanted to be an American once again. For too long, our country was the laughingstock of not only the free world, but of all countries.

And the American people spoke, loud and clear. Sometimes after standing in line for hours upon hours.

It was the first time ever in our collective memory that not only did the 18-29 demographic vote in force, but that everyone came out to cast their ballot. An estimated 133 MILLION people proudly stated who they wanted as President. A record turnout.

And a victor rose from the ashes of our broken economy and staggering unemployment rate.

Barack Obama.

We shall see where he leads us. But if the enthusiasm, tangible even through my television screen, of our country is any indication, then I think that we are in for a wild -- and productive -- four years. We'll see how it goes for eight. No sense getting ahead of ourselves just yet, okay?

Another poem by Langston Hughes I think is more appropriate for the results of last night's election results.

The night is beautiful,
So the faces of my people.

The stars are beautiful,
So the eyes of my people

Beautiful, also, is the sun.
Beautiful, also, are the souls of my people.


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Spanked!

Regardless of how you felt going into the primaries, of how you felt going to the polls today, you have to admit that what we witnessed tonight is nothing short of amazing. I still have chills. Tears of joy have been spilled. Bruises pepper my arms as I sat with awe and disbelief that the American people rose up as a whole (338 electoral votes versus 156 as of this writing) to accept a man who many never thought would be elected, regardless of his abilities.

Regardless of the fact that he's half white.

It's the other half that was the stumbling block.

Who would have thought that a... gasp!... black man could become the leader of the greatest land in the world?

Well, I did, but that's beside the point.

I knew that my fellow Americans were smart enough. However, prejudice still permeates that fabric of our lives. These past months it occurred to me more than once that there are citizens -- many of them -- that saw lynchings. It wasn't that long ago. So I thought that we might get close, but miss the mark.

However, as each day of the election ticked away closer to November 4th, I hoped -- prayed -- that my fellow Americans would make the right, not white, choice.

And they did.

Finally, a candidate that is judged not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character.

Well done.

Welcome to a new America. Lead by President Obama, 44th President of the United States of America. The UNITED States of America.

So glad to be here.

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On The Right Side of History?

Not exactly sure why she's using the butt of a pistol to hammer the nail, but it seems as good a use as any for a weapon.



I'll keep my political opinions to myself today -- those who know me know how I'll vote and those who don't... well, I imagine that it's too late to sway you to my camp.

All I will say is that history will be made today and if you can't feel the tangible excitement of the American people, get thee to a voting poll!

As I shared with my Aunt Fran, as I watch CNN, I'm sitting here realizing that if Mom was still around, I have no doubt that she'd go out and vote today. After her strokes, she never went to the polls because of her Crohn's disease and her embarrassment in her inability to read. But I can so imagine her sitting in her wheelchair, clutching a signed voter card in lieu of a current driver's license or state ID, and asking someone to read her the candidates names. And knowing that she'd feel today too an important day to miss, made me want to share my... epiphany, thoughts, imagination?... with you.

And those who knew her would know that the idea of an African-American President probably would reduce her to tears. That the idea of an American that could have changed so drastically in fifty, sixty years would force her to face her demons and cast her ballot because of one man's ability to overcome adversity and unite not only a political party, but the American people. She may not have witnessed any lynchings, but I know Mom was deeply affected by prejudice. And while she did what she could to fight it, this would the her biggest contribution to the cause.

As I said, I won't tell you how to vote, but I will tell you not to skip the long lines at the polls because "one vote won't make a difference." It is our Constitutional right to be heard and dammit, use your voice!

So go vote already!

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